stukntherut's Blog

So it was Christmas.

So what.

I said to the kids, "What do you want?" and that's what they got.  MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE ME.  But that's my life.

ASSHOLE BASTARD LOSER LIAR JERK

I called my Mother and asked her if I could stay with her (she lives in a different state) until I could get a job over there and my own place (1 or 2 months tops).  She said she's sorry for me and I'm welcome to visit.  If I need a 'time-out' I could come alone, or ASSHOLE BASTARD is always welcome too.

Thanks, Mom.  I love you too.

"Happy effing Holidays"

Remember in high school and somebody wrote "life sucks and then you die" or "life's a bitch" on a desk or lunch table??  I used to think those were 'bad' kids that did stuff like that.  Well, I totally get it know.

Or how about, "What comes around goes around?" & "History repeats itself?"  Yes, I'm feeling those too.

I could write story upon depressing story now, but I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

I will never be in a good relationship because I've been married to Mr. Asshole for WAY too long.  When I'm free of him I will live happily ever after with my beautiful cat Zellie.

Hooray for me!!

My husband isn't home.  Where is he?  I don't ask.  He gets up in the morning, comes in my room to grab some clothes, then leaves.  He doesn't run water- no shower or teeth brushing, so he has someplace.

My father was an asshole too.  He went on a missionary trip to build a church in the south and decided to stay extra long.  He didn't want to come back to his family.  I unpacked his suitcase and found love notes.  He told us he found someone he loved.  She came up for a visit.  At the time my Mother was consistently sleeping on the couch.  She had to sleep in the same bed with my father while his hussy was on my Mom's couch.  She never left the room.  I don't blame her one bit.

Why is it that men are so damn cruel???  My Mother stayed for over 26 years.  When she finally divorced him, he remarried within the month.  They sold the house and he moved a street over with his new wife who talks about there future.  Her vacation house now.  My Mom lived in hell all those years and she's tossed to the side with nothing.  My father is constantly spending a month at a time visiting the new wife's children and grandchildren while I get a phone call every 2 or 3 years to ease what little guilt he has. 

So I married my father.  I've finally stopped trying to keep things going and my husband doesn't care.  Why do they string us along like this??  He has told me he does care but he doesn't know how to show it.  He does want to talk to me he just doesn't know what to say.  Loser I am to let it go this long-16 years and counting.

I hate men- I hate my life

It's my day off and I'm sitting in my room. 

I used to bike ride, walk, jog, hike, xx ski, skate, lift weight, etc. etc.

In my spare time of coarse.  I also kept a very neat house- everything in order.

Now when I'm home I stay in my room.

Men will call me a lazy no good bitch.  I think there's some women out there who know where I'm coming from.  It's too bad it's come to this.  Too bad you never cared.

I used to be alive.  Young, active, and naive. 

I gave 100% ALWAYS.  I looked at what I accomplished and thought, "OK, how can I make this better?"

As a wife, I cooked healthy meals.  My Mother-in Law thought I wasn't feeding the kids.

My daughter was attacked by our large dog at 7 months old.  I screamed for my husband who was in the next room.  He had to finish rolling his joint before he would come "help" me.  So she has permanent facial scars.  At 14 years old my Mother-in-law said to her, "I wonder why your mother never took care of those scars?"  At the time I cried.  The latest me says, "BITCH"

My house was spotless.  I worked hard everyday.  I never sat down until 8pm.  After moving to a bigger house and yard with older kids(15 & 13 now) I have finally reached my breaking point.  I can't do it all anymore.  I quit stressing myself trying to run the family & home.  Pretty much, I quit.

Now my daughter takes care of the house when she can, my husband is suddenly cooking(heating food)- which I know is to use against me.  I stay in my room and nobody cares.  I HATE MY HUSBAND.

As much as I used to do.  This sick man tells me, "At least I'm doing something.  Not like some people."

All I wanted was some genuine concern for my well being.  

I married bullshit-empty promises.  I've lost all hope.