What it's like to be me | stukntherut's Blog

I used to be alive.  Young, active, and naive. 

I gave 100% ALWAYS.  I looked at what I accomplished and thought, "OK, how can I make this better?"

As a wife, I cooked healthy meals.  My Mother-in Law thought I wasn't feeding the kids.

My daughter was attacked by our large dog at 7 months old.  I screamed for my husband who was in the next room.  He had to finish rolling his joint before he would come "help" me.  So she has permanent facial scars.  At 14 years old my Mother-in-law said to her, "I wonder why your mother never took care of those scars?"  At the time I cried.  The latest me says, "BITCH"

My house was spotless.  I worked hard everyday.  I never sat down until 8pm.  After moving to a bigger house and yard with older kids(15 & 13 now) I have finally reached my breaking point.  I can't do it all anymore.  I quit stressing myself trying to run the family & home.  Pretty much, I quit.

Now my daughter takes care of the house when she can, my husband is suddenly cooking(heating food)- which I know is to use against me.  I stay in my room and nobody cares.  I HATE MY HUSBAND.

As much as I used to do.  This sick man tells me, "At least I'm doing something.  Not like some people."

All I wanted was some genuine concern for my well being.  

I married bullshit-empty promises.  I've lost all hope.